


Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me (till then I walk alone)

by fxckwonderwall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: FLUFF!!!!, M/M, Shy Harry, Shy Louis, just lots of fluff and shyness, this is my first published fic no hate please, zouis bromance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 11:11:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxckwonderwall/pseuds/fxckwonderwall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is shy and lost and lonely, then he meets Harry and flufffff!!</p>
<p>(Title is obviously from Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me (till then I walk alone)

The dark amethyst sky with smudged stars and faint clouds loomed over Louis Tomlinson. He was hurrying along the path, trying not to draw any form of attention to himself, trying to blend himself into the graffiti walls he passed. He breathed the foul, stale air of the rural suburb while he tried to locate a coffee shop. Or a supermarket. Or any type of place where there was humanity, where he wouldn't suffer alone with his cruel mind and words.

  
Louis didn't really know when it started. So much tragedy in his life probably caused all this melancholy and Louis was stuck. He was stuck and he hated it. He was screaming and no one could hear him. His heart ached and he cried and hurt and screamed, but no one was ever there to help him or comfort him. Louis was so alone.

  
Louis was alone, but he once had dreams. Voluminous, almost impossible dreams that he had wanted to achieve. At the top of the list was to travel. Well, that didn't happen. He had lived in London his whole life, and he hadn’t even left it before! So once everything happened, he couldn't bring himself to travel. He didn't want to anymore, it wasn't in his heart. He liked to say he travelled a bit around London, like he was doing at the moment, but Zayn called it ‘running away from his problems.’ _Whatever_. Maybe he did just like rural London, and since he couldn't travel the world, he was quite content travelling around his favourite place ever, _thank you very much_.

  
He didn't really have a home. When Louis’ family all changed because of him, Louis couldn't stick around. He didn't even get to say a proper goodbye to the girls because Ian had coaxed Jay into thinking Louis was a bad influence. Jay, being the lovesick puppy she was, believed him. And it hurt. Louis thought for sure that she would've picked her own son over some guy she met at a club when she was out for a girl’s night, but obviously not. Louis still cries about the talk she gave him. “Be nice.” She had warned. “He doesn't want to put up with you kids. He’s just here because he said he loves me.” Louis had lost nearly all of the respect he had for her. How could she put someone, mind you she hardly knew him, else’s happiness before herself? Before her kids that she ‘loved’ terribly. Ian hadn't liked Louis from the second they met. So fucking what if Louis wasn't as manly as other guys? He did like football, and he also liked having nice hair and nice clothes and drinking tea. And he preferred Disney movies over war ones. So what?? When Ian had moved in, and officially discovered Louis was gay, he automatically wanted Louis out. Just before he left, Louis had said in a steady voice, “For the record, I am not leaving because you asked me to. I am leaving because you,” he pointed to Ian “Are dirt beneath my feet. I am not going to live in the same house as you.” Louis was proud of that. Even if he was shy and timid he did have the balls to speak up for what was right. Ian couldn't believe Louis had spoken to him like that, so Louis was satisfied with the shocked response he had from Ian and Jay. Also, he slammed the door shut so hard he heard the echo in his ears for a full 5 minutes. What hurt him was that he didn't even say goodbye to his younger sisters, whom he did love very much. Nostalgia surged through him, whenever he thought about his sisters.

 

After about 20 minutes of fast walking later, Louis saw lights ahead. He sped up (if that was even possible) until he reached a liquor shop. Great, just what he needed. Not. He kept walking and eventually came upon a coffee shop. It was small but cozy, and it was open. He stepped inside and went to the deserted counter, and ordered is favourite, camomile tea. When he sat down, he was thinking about Zayn. Zayn was his best friend growing up, well he still probably was his best friend. But they didn’t really stay in touch. Louis’ phone had been disconnected- probably by Ian- so he had only spoken to Zayn when he could be bothered dialling his number in a pay phone. In the times he had done that, Zayn sounded so pleased to hear from him, which made Louis fairly happy. At least someone cared. Louis craved to be cared for.

  
When his camomile tea was put down on his table, Louis took a sip and had a proper look around the little shop. There was only one other person, but at least he wasn’t alone. Louis needed the company of other people. After about an hour, he got up and left.

  
Louis went back the way he came, and as he was climbing the stairs to the little motel flat he was staying in, he realized he was walking in step with someone. Now, don’t get Louis wrong. He hardly ever stayed in flats. Usually he just slept in his car that he had worked hard for. Louis left when he was only 15. Most people thought you couldn’t survive at the age, out in the world. But he did it. Now, he was 22 and he liked to sleep in his cheap car that he bought with his own money from his hard work. The only reason he stayed in a flat this time round was because apparently the place was shutting down soon and they wanted some use out of it before that happened. It was basically free, and Louis wasn’t going to say no to a bed and some curtains.

  
The boy who was walking next to Louis didn’t even creep him out. Usually, Louis was so cautious around people, so nobody could hurt him. Physically or mentally. They walked down the sidewalk (which, was quite busy for a dark, misty morning) and when they (weirdly) got to the same motel, the pretty boy with green eyes opened the entry door. He held his arm out, as if to shoo Louis in, and Louis smiled gratefully at him. The boy caught Louis’ eye and shyly winked. He blushed after that. Neither of them said anything, but they made their way slowly to the stairs and both began to ascend. When Louis got to his floor, he turned and shyly said to the boy, “Goodnight. Or good morning. Whatever.” The boy smiled and nodded. Then said quietly, “You should smile more often. You have a nice smile.” Then he kept walking up the stairs, not knowing that Louis was glued to the ground, his mouth gaping at the boy’s words.

 

 

When Louis woke up, in a warm bed, that same morning. He felt different. He didn’t want to stay in bed all day and cry. It was only 11am, so he decided to go out for a late breakfast. He rarely ate, not just because he was cautious with his spending money but also because he didn’t want to eat. That should probably worry him, but it didn’t. He didn’t want to eat, so he didn’t. Well, today he did. So he was going to. He had a really quick shower, another luxury he was fortunate to have. But well, he was homeless. He didn’t like putting it that way, but he also didn’t like living in a lie. The thing is, he didn’t mind. He had a car and coffee and tea and money and he didn’t want a house by himself. He felt too lonely and isolated if he stayed in one place alone. Which is one main reason he travelled around. Not because he was running away. Because he wasn’t.  
Louis would like to say he didn’t dwell on the past. But he did. From the very first day he was “kicked out” of his home he hardly stopped thinking about Ian, about his family. It was nearly 7 years down the road and he still thought about them. He wondered if Lots became a hairdresser, like she had always wanted to. He wondered if the twins still wore matching clothes (he hoped not, they were only 3 when he left). He wondered if Fizz’s favourite food was still lasagne. He really did miss all that, he missed them all growing up. It hurt. And it made Louis despise Ian that much more.

  
So, Louis made his way to his car, hopped in and made his way to a café. He avoided the one he went to this morning, for some reason. He kept driving along the same road that he walked along just a few hours prior. Where he kinda, sorta met the pretty green-eyed boy. Louis stopped at the next café and got out of his car, making sure he had his wallet. Louis felt that the people around this area kept staring at him and he didn’t know why. He wiped his face in case he had something around his mouth or something, even though he hadn’t even eaten yet. He hurried to the café and slipped inside, hoping to go unnoticed. Louis had lost his appetite a little bit, but nonetheless he was there so he might as well at least get a cup of tea. Scanning over the specials board, he decided he wanted some pancakes (with cream and blueberries, duh) with an Earl Grey tea. He placed his order and the girl smiled at him and told him to take a seat, as they would bring it out for him when it was ready. Louis sat down by the back window and gazed out of it. There was a giant oak tree, next to a beautiful blossom tree filled with different hues of pink. Louis smiled. He loved nature and when it wasn’t too cold he would go lie out in paddocks or fields, loving the atmosphere. He daydreamed for a bit more, imaging if one day someone would maybe like him enough to move into a house with him. A small cozy house that they could call home. With many different types of plants and trees in the yard, and with at least 3 different blossom trees. He felt like a big dork, who wanted a boyfriend who was obsessed with gardening and nature? Most people these days wanted someone who wanted lots of sex, who partied a lot, someone who was hot. Louis was none of these things. Sure, he wanted a boyfriend who liked him and sex, but he wasn’t good at it. He knew nothing about it and he didn’t know how to find out about it. The girl who served him walked over, his food in tow, and placed it down. He smiled gratefully and she smiled back with a quiet, “Enjoy.” Louis slowly ate and drank, savouring the good food. He didn’t know when his next proper meal would be, so he took his time, tasting everything on his tongue and feeling the warmth inside of him. When he was only halfway, someone pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down. Shocked, Louis dropped his fork (which had been halfway to his mouth) and it clattered onto his plate. He quickly check to make sure no one was looking at him when he exclaimed, quiet loudly, “ZAYN!!!” He jumped up and pulled Zayn into a standing position where he hugged him. “Howdy stranger,” Zayn whispered into Louis’ ear. “I’ve missed you so much.” Zayn had not changed one bit. After Louis left, they tried to meet up as often as they could, but that stopped. Louis hadn’t seen Zayn in over 2 years. He still had the same scruff he had last time they met, and his hair was pretty much the same length. The only difference was he looked older. Plus, he towered over Louis. “What are you even doing here?” Louis exclaimed quite excitedly. They both resume places in their seats, and begin to talk.

  
“I’ve been travelling a lot mate, especially trying to draw some inspiration for my art.” Zayn said, picking up the fork Louis had dropped onto his plate and eating the pancakes that were on it. Louis nodded in understanding. “Want me to buy you a cuppa?” Zayn shook his head and said, “Nope, I’ll buy it myself. Want a top up? Let me guess…” He put his thinking face on. “Camomile?” Louis shook his head with a small smile on his face. “Really? Hmm, English breakfast?” He shook his head again. “Shit. Um, green?” Louis broke out with a full on grin. “Nope.” Zayn slyly smiled. “Got it. Earl Grey?” Louis nodded, and added with a grin, “Only took you 4 tries.” Zayn nodded and went to the counter. When he came back he said with a smile, “Ordered myself a full English breaky. Haven’t eaten since last night, I’m starved.” They talk for what feels like forever, when the same waitress that served Louis brings out Zayn’s food, plus his own tea. She sets it down and Louis politely thanks her. Zayn digs right in as they still continue to talk. After about an hour, Zayn invites Louis to go for a walk and bask in some of the rare London sun.

  
They walk along the path and discuss what they plan to do with the rest of their lives. Zayn wanted to stay with Louis for a bit, so Louis explained to him where he’s staying for the time being. As they’re walking, Louis sees someone familiar. They were walking towards each other, and he knows that the guy has noticed him too. When they pass each other, Louis has a burst of confidence and says, “Hi.” The boy, surprised, smiles wide. “Hey, nice to see you again.” Louis smiles back and they both keep walking. It was silence for a few seconds, then, “So, was that your boyfriend?” Zayn asked politely. Louis nudged him. “No! I just met him the other day. He was nice to me.” Louis responded, wanting that to be the end of the conversation. Zayn just nodded and smiled softly at Louis.

  
They made their way back to the café and hopped into their respective cars, and headed down the boulevard of broken dreams. Louis nearly missed the turnoff to the motel because he was dreaming about long nights and warm bodies and green eyes. Never mind, Zayn would never have to know.

  
They spend hours in the hotel room, watching movies and snuggling under the blankets. They ordered room service and Zayn promised he would cook for them the following day. Zayn wanted to go out for a smoke and Louis wanted to go for a night (morning, whatever) walk, so they both grabbed a key each, walked down the stairs together and went their own ways. Louis told Zayn he might be quick, or he might be a while. Zayn understood. He always did.

  
Louis dawdled along the path, until he came along a bench. He would recognize that hair from anywhere, so he quietly sat down next to the boy with chaotic curls. “Hi.” Louis spoke quietly. Startled, the boy looked up very quickly. “Oh. Hi.” He said back. They sat in silence for a while until Louis got the courage to get a conversation flowing.

  
“My names Louis.” He said, still speaking quietly.

  
“I’m Harry. It’s nice to finally put a name to your beautiful face.” Charming, Louis thought. He blushed and smiled a little bit at that.

  
“Likewise.” Harry smiled at him.

  
“I noticed you were in my family’s café today. With your, erm, boyfriend.” Harry spoke, kicking his legs slightly.

  
“That was you’re family’s café? That’s cool! Compliments to the chef. Me and Zayn both enjoyed our meals. He, um, by the way, isn’t my boyfriend.” Louis manages to get out without really stuttering. He mentally high-fives himself.

  
“Oh? Sorry for assuming. Thanks for the compliments. My step dad will be pleased to hear it. Him and my mother have been wanting to open it forever. They finally have. They fulfilled their lifelong dream. Which means I can fulfil mine to. Shit, I’m rambling now aren’t I? Sorry.” Harry mumbled the whole way through, but Louis understood.

  
“Oh yeah? Lifelong dream huh? What’s yours?” Louis asked. “Not that you have to, ah, tell me or anything. I-I was just asking.”

  
“No! That’s ok. Well I just really love singing. I aspire to be a singer. I don’t really think it’s possible but you never know, right?” Harry asks hopefully.

  
Louis nods. “Of course! I’m almost certain you’ll achieve your dream. I hope you do.”

  
“Yeah? That’s nice of you to say. Thanks. Now, what’s your dream?” Harry asked back.

  
Louis kinda held his head in shame.

  
“Hey, is everything ok? Sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” Harry stumbled over his words nervously.

  
Louis put his hand out onto Harry’s arm. “It’s fine. I’ve just- I’ve had plenty of opportunity to complete my dream and I’ve never done it. I wanted to travel all around the world. I say that, but I haven’t even been out of my own country yet.” Louis rolls his eyes at himself. He sounds stupid.

  
“You wanna travel too?” Harry asked excitedly.

  
“I, um, yeah.” Louis answered.

  
“That’s cool. Maybe we should go somewhere sometime together.” Louis nodded in response.

  
They sat in silence for a bit again. Then Louis let out a little yawn. Then Harry did too. They both giggled to each other. Then Harry made sure he was fully facing Louis when he said “Do you think we could go out for breakfast or lunch tomorrow or something?”

  
Louis had never agreed to something so fast.

That night, Louis was exhausted. He went to sleep next to Zayn, dreaming of a beautiful boy named Harry.

 

 

When Louis woke up, Zayn was already scurrying around the little room. “Do you want some breakfast babe?”

  
“Yes please Zayner, just a little bit.” Louis groggily answered.

  
Zayn nodded and got to work. “Have a big night last night then Lou?”

  
“Pft, no. I just went for a walk.” He answered, praying that would be the end of it.

  
Zayn laughed. “Sure babe. Whatever you say.”

  
Louis rolled his eyes and went to shower.

  
They had their breakfast together and spoke about their plans for the day. Zayn wanted to go take photos of some things around the area that he could paint. Louis suggested the big blossom tree near the café they were at yesterday. Louis had lunch plans, so he wouldn’t be out all day. “Well, after you get back from your date with your boyfriend, would you like to have dinner with me? Or will I have to fend for myself, again?” Zayn bantered.

Louis knew Zayn was only teasing, but it still made him blush and whine in protest. “Hey! Firstly, he’s not my boyfriend! And this isn’t a date! We are just having lunch together. And about dinner, well I haven’t had 3 meals in one day since I was 15. But I s’pose I could have something small.”

  
Zayn nodded and stood up, whilst saying, “Alrighty, I’m going to head off now. I’ll see you later.”

  
And just as Louis thought he’d left, Zayn stuck his head back in the room and said in a loud voice, “Oh and Lou? Go get him tiger!” Louis rolled his eyes.

 

Considering they were living at the same hotel, nobody needed to pick anybody up. Harry insisted that he should drive, and he had made it very clear they weren’t going to his parents’ restaurant. Louis was curious about where they would go, but Harry told him not to worry. Louis listened to him.

  
When they met up at the designated time, Harry was a step ahead of Louis and opened the car door for him. Louis nearly cried at just the gesture.  
They drove for a fair bit, definitely out of the town they had started in. The radio was lightly playing and Harry drove with only one hand on the steering wheel, whilst his other hand rested on the handbrake. Louis’ heart ached, and his brain screamed at him to, ‘hold his damn hand already.’ Louis couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  
They made small talk, and Louis realized that he tended to talk more about the future than the past. When Harry asked about his family, Louis had looked out the window and described his sisters (from nearly 10 years ago, he has a pretty good memory of them.)

  
It was silent between the boys for a minute, then Harry said, “Oooh, I love this song.” He turned up the radio a bit and it was Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons playing. God, what even is this kid? He likes healthy eating, night (morning) walks, and the same bands as Louis. Louis was just about in love. “We’re almost there.”

  
In record time later, Harry pulled up in front of a shop that had a sign that read ‘MOLLIE’S TEAHOUSE.’

  
Louis hummed in approval. “How did you know I am obsessed with tea?”

  
Harry grins. “Lucky guess?”

 

Two cups of tea each and a whole tray of sandwiches and scones later, Louis and Harry were stuffed. They had a great time and a great chat and neither of them wanted to leave. Louis ordered another cup of tea for each of them, and asked Harry something he had been itching to ask for a while. “Um, Harry, you don’t have to tell me but I’m just going to ask because I was simply curious, if you’re family live in town then why are you staying at a motel?”

  
Louis saw Harry’s face go from worried to a lazy grin. “Oh. Well, my parents own the flat above the café yes?” Louis nodded, so Harry continued. “And it’s way too small for me to stay in as well as them. The thing is, I’m travelling at the moment and I’ve only been in town a couple of days. I don’t mind staying by myself, it’s better than being cramped up in the flat with mum, Robin and Gemma.” Harry fake shudders at that. Louis grins at him.

  
Before heading back, they go for a walk and end up in a park. There’s a single swing in the middle of all the nature, and Harry offers the seat to Louis. He grins and sits down, whilst Harry goes behind him and starts pushing him gently. Louis giggles and they take turns on sitting on the swing.

  
Louis’ face hurts from smiling so much.

 

  
When they eventually get back to the motel, coincidentally, Zayn is having a smoke out the front. The shit-eating grin he has placed on his face already makes Louis cringe. Louis and Harry both get out of the car and Zayn saunters up to them. “So, how was the date?”

  
Louis was already blushing, but Harry just smiled fondly. “I, for one, had a great time.”

  
“Me too.” Louis said meekly.  
Both Zayn and Harry smiled at Louis. Then Zayn turned to Harry. “Hey mate. I don’t believe we’ve properly met. I’m Zayn.” Harry smiles at Zayn and politely says. “I’m Harry.”  
Zayn laughs, not unkindly, but still teasingly. “Oh buddy, I know who you are.” He glanced at Louis, who looked horrified, before reaching out and touching Harry’s curls. “A mop of unruly hair. Pretty green eyes. What else was there, Lou?”

  
Harry’s smile, if possible, got even wider. Louis was blushing and he was mortified. “Don’t worry Lou, my sister has already had enough of me talking about you. I’ve told her every detail I could muster up.”

  
Louis was so embarrassed by this stage, he wanted to run away. Zayn could probably sense this, so he gently gripped onto Louis’ wrist.

  
“Hey Harry, you wanna stay for dinner tonight?” Harry nodded, Zayn grinned, and even Louis smiled a little.

 

 

That night was the best Louis’ had. Ever.

 

 

A month passes, and they have not progressed in any way. Sure, they know each other very well. (Harry even knows the truth about Louis’ family.) But Louis’ heart aches for Harry. He wants to make a move, but he’s too scared. What if Harry doesn’t like him? What if Harry isn’t even gay? Harry had never mentioned it, even though Louis had stuttered his way through telling Harry.

  
Louis had asked Zayn those questions, and he laughed at both of them. “Lou, he is crazy about you. And I’m almost certain he is gay. Or at least bi. You need to calm down. Make a move already babe.”

  
The thing is, Louis never really stayed in one place for a very long time. If Zayn and Harry hadn’t showed up in his life, he would most likely be in another random town, drinking coffee and sleeping in his car. He likes the change though. It’s nice to walk down the street giggling with Harry or sit with Zayn in a park while he paints. He likes the routines he has gotten into with them. Harry would wake them up with breakfast and they would spend the morning together. They would make lunch and then spend the afternoon doing whatever they wanted. Then they would have dinner together and once Zayn wanted to go find a pub. Louis hadn’t been feeling up to it and he coaxed Zayn and Harry into going. They left, but not even 5 minutes later, Harry was back through the door, holding some movies. “I didn’t want to leave you by yourself. Zayn was happy to go to the pub alone, but I thought we could have a movie night instead?” Harry looked so hopeful and Louis was so obvious when he smiled real big and claimed he would love it. They had a beer each and cuddled on the small motel couch. In the middle of some movie Louis wasn’t paying attention to, he started to cry. Harry looked so shocked and didn’t know what to do, so he grabbed Louis’ waist and pulled him into a hug. “Hey love, hey its ok. You’re alright.” Harry nursed him until the tears were gone. When he was alright, Harry kissed his forehead and they continued watching the movie. He didn’t even ask why he was crying. That confused Louis, as he didn’t know if Harry didn’t want to ask, or if he didn’t want to know. Instead of dwelling on it, like he normally would, Louis blurts out, “Aren’t you going to ask me why I was crying?”

  
Harry smiled kindly. “If you wanted to tell me, I know you would. I will wait until you do want to tell me. If you don’t, then that’s fine too.”  
“You’re too nice for your own good, H,” Louis pauses and is unsure whether to go on. “The thing is, I just really like you, and you’ve stuck around for over a month, even though you were in the middle of travelling.”

  
“It means so much that you and Zayn have allowed me to become a part of your lives. As you know, I don’t have many friends,” That nearly made Louis start crying again. Why would people not want to be friends with Harry? “And it’s just so nice that I have you two.”

  
“Harry, we love having you around. I was lost and Zayn is just a quiet lad, this is cheesy I know but you were kind of the missing piece. You always cook us food and keep us healthy and entertained and happy,” Louis takes a deep breath. “I would be lost again if you left. Not that I want you to hold back. If you want to travel, go fo-” Louis was cut off by Harry surging forward and delicately placing his lips on Louis’. Louis was speechless when Harry pulled away. “I’m sorry. I’ve just wanted to do that for a while.”  
Louis was, once again, gaping because of Harry. “You should’ve done it sooner.” Is what slips out and Louis has taken a breath. Harry grins so big, and leans forward to kiss Louis again.

  
So that’s how they spend their night. Kissing, movies and blushing.

 

It’s been a whole year and they are still more in love than that first month they spent pining over one another. Zayn left about 3 months after Louis and Harry decided to be boyfriends. He was so happy for them, and he called them once a week to keep an update. Zayn was pursuing his art career.

  
Louis and Harry moved to a town, close to the one where he was born. They actually bought a small business together, with a flat above the top. It was a bakery, and it was a hit. Harry did the baking (of course!) and Louis was the manager and the treasurer. They hired some people to help Harry and to serve at the counter, and within just 6 months they were well known within the town.

  
Louis was so happy. He had a job and a house but most importantly, he had a home. With Harry. They worked every day, and spent every night together. Sometimes they would go for night walks together, and lie under the stars at the local park. It was times like that that Louis truly cherished, when it was just him, Harry and the universe. Maybe one day they could travel together. But right at the moment, Louis' life was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so this is my first published fic, so i had no idea what i was doing, no hate please!!!!!!!!!!! sorry if the layout is weird!!!! constructive criticism is helpful and maybe even some kudos? thankssssssss x


End file.
